Captive
by Sarrabr4
Summary: Based on episode 5x12 Captive. After they get Kevin back, Adam deals with the ramifications of his feelings.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing except my imagination.**

**A/N: Okay so I know I have tons going on but I love the episode Captive from season 5, right after Adam and Kim's hook up. I've been re-watching it because that scene where Antonio shoots one of the offenders right in front of Adam and his moment with Kim is everything, I had to write a short one shot of it.**

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"What if i missed and he shoots Burgess then what?" Nine words that Adam couldn't get out of his head. He downed a shot and poured himself another one. He was standing in his kitchen and all he could do was relive that scene. He had been filled with dread with the thought of losing Kevin, anger towards Antonio for firing those two rounds but Antonio had been right. What if he had missed his shot in the leg and Kim had received the led instead? Adam couldn't stomach the thought of a world without Kim, no matter what their personal status was at the moment.

He remembered their night of fun a few nights back and it brought all kinds of feelings back to him but he knew that he couldn't act on those feelings because Kim wasn't there yet. He knew that the trust he gained from her on the job wouldn't compare that the trust she had lost in him during their relationship and he would do anything to build that trust back but now wasn't their time and maybe their time would never come again. He downed his second shot just as there was a knock on his door. He wasn't expecting anyone tonight, knowing that everyone would be at Molly's. He made to the front of his place and opened the door without even looking through the peephole to find out who it was.

"Antonio?" He was the last person he was expecting to see at his door right now, specially after the way he had blown up at him.

"I came to see how you were holding up." Clearly the older detective had seen through his bullshit and he was now calling him out of it.

"I'm fine, I said it before." He let him walk inside and closed the door behind him.

"I know what you said Adam but I've been on the job long enough to read the signs."

"I got all this shit moving around in my head." He moved his arm around to demonstrate and filled up another shot and found another one for Antonio. "And it's about driving me mad." He downed his shot under Antonio's stare.

"What you're feeling is normal Ruzek. You almost lost your partner and your ex girlfriend at the same time. I felt so guilty when I had to fire my gun. But I couldn't take the chance of getting Burgess in the line of fire."

"I get it and you know what? I get what she meant about Kevin being the best partner she ever had on the beat." Al had taught him all he knew about being a cop but Kevin was making him a better cop without even realizing it.

"Trust me Adam, I know how you feel." Antonio downed his own shot. "When I lost Jules, I never thought that I would find a partner that I would mesh well with again. To be honest, when Voight partnered me with Burgess when she first got up, I had my doubts. I knew she was a good cop but I wasn't sure about her motives."

"She's a damn good cop and she deserves to be in Intelligence." Adam assured him.

"I've come to know her more since and we're as close to a perfect fit together as one can hope for."

"I'll drink to that." Adam filled both their glasses again and they downed their drinks. "Thanks for swinging by." Adam really appreciated the gesture and Antonio gave his counter a tap.

"You need anything I got you." Antonio pushed his empty shot glass away and walked, making it shoulder to shoulder with Adam, giving his shoulder a pat.

"Thanks Dawson." Antonio nodded and he let himself out. Adam put a hand on his phone and contemplated making a phone call but his thoughts had a different idea.

_Adam was standing in the church, as Kevin took the gun that Joe Baker placed on the ground. His gun was still raised and his heart pumping hard in his chest. He had never been so happy to see his partner in his whole damn life and it was only when Joe took a spot in a pew that Adam felt comfortable enough to lower his weapon._

"_You good Kev?" He needed to hear him say the words out loud._

"_Yeah, we're good." Kevin nodded, keeping his eyes on Joe._

"_Requesting immediate medical assistance." Adam called into his radio. He made his way towards Kevin and pulled him into his arms. "Damn Kev." He clapped him on the back. "I was scared half way to hell."_

"_I'm good. Where's the rest of the team?" The two walked towards Joe, Adam helping him up to his feet._

"_Waiting outside." Two paramedics took Joe in charge and Adam clapped a relieved hand on his back before he spotted Antonio and decided to apologize for what he had said to him earlier. He witnessed Kevin's reunion with Kim and it made him smile. _

He deemed that reunion and the text from Kevin after he had seen the doctor at Med enough for the day and decided to let Kevin rest up. He downed another shot when there was another knock on the door. Adam grunted with annoyance and opened the door roughly.

"People need to stop fucking checking on me." He growled but when his eyes fell on the person on the other side he softened his stance. "Kim."

"I just came from seeing Kevin and I'm doing my round, see how you're doing but if I'm interrupting something I can go." She pointed behind her back and moved to leave but Adam stopped her grabbing her left elbow and pulling her lightly forward.

"No, stay. You want something to drink?"

"Whatever you're having is fine." She smiled at him and walked inside his place.

"Whiskey shots, it's been a long day." He sighed and she nodded, agreeing with him.

"Longest." She agreed. "Thanks for not letting me drown today."

"Hey, you were worried, we all were." He pulled her gently to him and wrapped his arms around her.

"But I was spiralling and you kept me from losing it." She mumbled into his chest. She took a whiff of his scent and she almost lost it. She extricated herself slowly from his arms and pushed the two empty shot glasses towards him for a re-fill.

"I'll get you a new one."

"Just pour it." She had crossed paths with Antonio on the way here so she figured it was his. She waited for him to pour the alcohol in before she took hers and downed it before he even had the chance to do the same. "Another one." He looked at her with a cocked eyebrow and a smirk before he poured her another one that they shared together.

"How's Kevin?"

"Surprisingly well actually." She took a seat on a stool that was sitting next to his breakfast bar. "Doc said it didn't touch anything major and that he should be back on the job in a couple of weeks."

"That's good to know." Kevin had refused either one of their request to come with to get checked out but he had called Kim after he had left Med to give her an update, making her promise to swing by later that evening. "And how are you feeling?" She finally asked the question.

"Between Kevin getting taken and shots being fired at you? I'm a mess." He was done hiding around her.

"Hey, I'm okay." She reached across the counter and took his hand in hers, rubbing her thumb against his knuckles.

"I gave Antonio hell for not shooting him in the leg but I don't know what I would have done if he had missed and you would have been hit."

"Don't let your mind wander there Adam, I'm fine." She smiled at him.

"I'm not and I meant what I said the other day about moving forward."

"I'm not ready Adam, I don't know if I ever will be." She pulled her hand away from his.

"I know but I'm ready to wait for you, as long as you need me to." He wanted her back now but she wasn't ready and he understood where she was coming from.

"It's not that simple Adam." She stood up from her stool and made her way to him. "But I don't regret what happened between us that night or the time we had together before." She smiled at him.

"I don't regret anything either darling." She closed her eyes at the sting it did to her heart.

"I'll see you in the morning." She pushed herself on her toes and kissed his cheek.

"Yeah." He sighed as she moved away from his personal space. "I'll see you in the morning." He walked her to the door and waited for her to be all the way down the hallways before he closed the door with a sigh. He poured himself the two empty shot glasses and downed them in succession before he stripped of his clothes and slipped under the covers, placing his hands behind his head. The alcohol had made its way well into his system and he made it an early night, hoping for someday.

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**A/N: So here it is. I didn't want this to be a reunion piece like all my other ones are but I wanted to show Adam and Kim being able to exist ion the same orbit post hook-up without it being awkward. I hope you guys liked it and please take a few seconds to review before you go, it means the world to me - Sarra**


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